Embracing Power

Last night I learned something in an instant that I most definitely wasn't expecting. The circumstances may seem trivial, but when something in your brain gets triggered you can't help but thank the "straw that broke the camel's back." 

I was out walking my Dad's new puppy (Maximus); he is 10 weeks old and absolutely adorable. I love dogs and had a great one growing up, but this is the first time I'm an adult and get to watch a puppy grow up and actually appreciate it. As we were walking back into my building, his paw got caught under the door and he starting yelping/screaming whatever you call it. It was loud and his face was devastating, he limped over to me and just collapsed in my arms. I rubbed him and carried him back up to my apartment. He clung to me like I was his savior. In that moment, I knew what it felt like to care about another thing or person, one that you are responsible for and feel the pain that they do. 

I have loved many people, my family, friends, boyfriends etc., but the love you feel for something essentially helpless that is relying on you to live every day is completely different. Besides showing me that I am totally and definitely not ready to have children any time soon, it also gave me a glimpse into the power I have in this world. For the next five days, I am in full control of giving this puppy his life, his food, his shelter and the love he needs. This can be translated into so many areas of our lives--sometimes we may feel powerless, but in reality, we are in constant control of how we treat ourselves, how we treat other people (and animals) and how much of that power and control we use for good and how much for bad.

It is not something that is tangible nor measurable, so how can we harness it?

1. Look at yourself in the mirror every morning and recognize that whether you are single or in a relationship, whether you love or hate your job, whether your body is how you want it to look, it is still your life. You are the only person who gets to live it. 

2. You have what it takes to make someone else's day. I think we all know that sometimes even a stranger complimenting us on something can completely change our mood around, imagine if it was someone you love and value. Let those people in your life that you value know that they do. You can never tell someone you love them too much if you truly mean it. 

3. Change the f'in world. All of us can, I promise you. Not everyone of us will give up every material possession and volunteer our life to improving other's lives, but all of us have the power to change the world in one way or another. Don't be afraid to explore what you are capable of. 

4. LOVE. there is so much power in love. In my eyes, maybe more than anything else. More than money, fame etc. As cliche as it sounds, when you love someone, something, an idea, a dream, you will find a way to make that known. And you can. You are given that opportunity every single day. This is one thing I say take advantage of it might just be the ultimate understatement.

Slow Realizations

Many people say college is the best 4 years of your life, but I strongly disagree. Yes, it's fun to do whatever you want, not worry about bills, eat and drink every night of the week, study or not study and just live carefree for four years. BUT...this couldn't possibly compare to the amount I've learned about life, others and myself in the past 2 years out of school. Some of it has absolutely sucked, it has by no means been easy, but the amount I've grown, the people I've met and the lessons I've learned are invaluable. 

Coming out of college, it's the social norm to find a job that pays you well (or well enough), date, party and eventually find someone you want to settle down with, have kids etc. For a while, I was obsessed with this concept, paranoid I would never find these things and put so much of my happiness on whether I was getting closer to this endpoint. What's usually left out of this fabulous plan we have for ourselves is getting to know ourselves, finding out what makes us happy, who makes us happy. 

For me, this journey began with me discovering Crossfit. Before that I ran to keep in shape, but CF was a different level of adrenaline and accomplishment that is almost impossible to explain. I learned what it meant to take control of my body, to listen to it and push it to its limits. This slowly gave me the confidence to challenge myself in the workplace and in my personal life. Could I be doing more to be successful in my career? How could I learn more and constantly grow? Did all of my relationships add to my life in a positive way or were there people holding me back? How could I learn to part with these things and people without a chip on my shoulder? Can I really accurately discern what is good for me, who is good for me and how to approach it? 

I don't know the answers to all of these questions and according to my father, I never really will, but for the first time in my life I am 100% focused on learning about myself, exploring different possibilities as far as my interests are concerned, traveling, loving the people in my life. I'm not worried about finding a man and starting a family and knowing exactly where my career will be in 5 years. I may be sitting right here writing this post, but what I'm really doing is searching for me, for who I am meant to be so that one day I can have all those endpoints, but as a happy, well rounded, well traveled and strong person.

Never stop growing :)

Give Your Mind a Break

As Crossfitters, many of us are high energy, constantly moving kind of people. We know we need our rest days, but we don't really want  them most of the time. We monopolize on "active recovery" and love going to bed knowing we worked hard that day, mentally and physically. Sometimes though, even we, need to let go a little bit. Yesterday, I had a few friends come up to CT and we spent almost 6 hours just sitting on the beach, soaking in the sun and the breeze and the environment as a whole. Before and after, I spent my time eating on an outdoor porch with no time restraints, absolutely nowhere to be. 

The sun started to set and my mind goes, oh crap, I really should've went for a run today, or maybe I'll do some tabata in the house before I go to bed. But then I reminded myself how peaceful the day felt, how I literally for the first time in forever, completely let myself go, let myself relax. So give your mind a break, and come back to the grind, the hustle and bustle and the barbell fresh the next day. 

i chopped all my hair off :/