Appreciating Success and Failure

The past couple of months of training have resulted in tons (seriously, countless) huge successes and PRs and huge disappointments. Sometimes even in the same day.  Unfortunately, my immediate reaction is to let the failure outshine the success and even more unfortunately this also happens in my personal and work life. 

For some people, including myself, thinking positively and separating success from failure is a really difficult thing to do. It takes work, a lot of it. I'm constantly reminding myself to be conscious of where my mind begins to wander and actively pointing it in the right direction. For example, the other day at Crossfit I PR'ed my power clean and got it for 3, but immediately after I sucked ass at a workout and in my head that completely cancelled out the PR. Days after, I realize that they are 2 separate things and that neither really has bearing on the other. 

No one will always succeed at every single thing they do, but when they do, it should be able to be celebrated. Each individual success, whether its tiny or huge, should be taken for exactly what it is. 

This doesn't mean we should ignore our failures, sometimes they teach me the most about who I am and where I want to go. Yes, the feeling can suck, but once you get past that and are able to reflect upon 1. why you failed and 2. how you can modify your life or training in the future so you don't continue to fail, it can be a blessing in disguise. And not to forget how it always brings you back to a level of humility. 

So take the successes, appreciate them. Take the failures, appreciate them. Let them separately and jointly guide your life, but never let them outshine or discount the other. 

I never sweat this much so I had to take a picture, which doesn't do it justice at all

My Fight with Food

Let's just say for me...the struggle is real when it comes to food.

I've spoke about this a little here in the past, but about 6-7 years ago my relationship with food was horrendous. How little I could eat was a contest with myself and the guilt I felt when I indulged was unbearable. That mental battle plagued me for years as I went up and down in weight with extreme swings, which usually went in line with my happiness. I was 100% controlled by food (which sounds absolutely ridiculous). 

For the last 2-3 years, I had convinced myself that I was better, that because I was no longer afraid to eat I was healthy. But...this resulted in me literally eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, paying no attention to what I was really putting into my body. I became more and more involved in Crossfit, so the pounds of jelly beans and chips and greasy food never really made much of an impact on my physical appearance. For once, I felt like I controlled the food. (which again, sounds ridiculous)

At the time it was hard to see, but each of these was equally unhealthy for me. Either way, I was 1. not listening to my body and 2. not giving my body the correct nutrients it needs to perform and thrive. 

I can't tell you how many times people have told me that my performance at the gym would get better if I actually made any effort into what I was eating. My stubborn ass denied it for as long as I could and then....

The past six months have been the first time since I was 14 yrs old that I truly eat when I am hungry, don't look at food as a battle for control and think through what is going into my body. 

Do I eat perfectly? Not by any means. Do I want to eat perfectly? Not really. I want to eat to fuel me, to satisfy hunger and to have fun. So how do I put this in place? I've limited cheese to one meal a day, indulge in small amounts of chocolate and ice cream every day (yes, every day) and really listen to what my body wants. Each decision I make regarding food is no longer a fight, but just a simple, educated decision with a goal and level of balance in mind. 

How do you keep this balance? 

what are you training for? What are you eating for? LIFE 

Update Your Goals: CF Edition

I think as we progress in both life and in the gym, we have to constantly stop, take a look at how far we've come and where we want to go next. In essence, evaluate our past goals and shape and change them according to where we want our path to lead next. You are the only one in total control of where your life goes and this is a way that I make sure to hold myself accountable for this.

(I'll start with in the gym bc the "in life" goals take a lot more thought)

A year ago my main goal was to get all of my lifts and abilities back to where they were before I had knee surgery. It may have taken longer than I wanted it to, but I have successfully achieved that goal and feel lucky to have been able to work through it and improve beyond what I even imagined. So without further adieu, here are my updated CF goals: 

1. Snatch 125# (current: 100#)

2. Squat Clean 170# (current: 155#)

3. Front Squat 195# (current 175#)

4. OHS 135# (current 115# for 3)

4. 10 linked butterfly pullups (current: 6 max), maybe even some C2B :)

5. 10 consecutive HSPU from the floor (current: 2)

6. 1 muscle up

7. Jerk: 145# (current: 125#)

8. get into a freestanding handstand, maybe even walk a couple feet!

Time to work!!

Surrounding Yourself with the Right People

It may or may not be sad that I get a lot of my initial motivation for this blog from the website "Thought Catalog" but it works. Today I read this article and pulled a few quotes from it:

-Surround yourself with people who know what you deserve and tell you to demand it. Surround yourself with people who will call you on your bullshit 

- Surround yourself with people who make you leap out of your comfort zone

-Surround yourself with these people not because it will feel easy, or comfortable, or even safe. Surround yourself with these people because these are the ones who will electrify you...

My whole life I have wondered why I was never that person who had a big group of friends, or was invited to every birthday party or always had someone to hang out with. Still to this day, I let this get to me, but then I stop and take a look at the people I do have in my life at any given moment. Every single one of them fits in the above description. Without even noticing it until I was an adult, I have always looked to surround myself with people that can push me and that I can push back to become better, stronger, smarter, more loving, more understanding etc. We can all "fill" our lives with people, with things to do, but I'll never stop believing that when it comes to relationships (family, romantic, friends) quality always wins over quantity. 

So choose those people wisely, professionally, personally, athletically. Look around: are they making you work harder? Are you challenging them to rethink something? Do they know your worth and you know theirs? Do they call you on your bullshit in all the right moments and cheer you on when you need it the most? Those are the people worth surrounding yourself with.