Progress begins here

Things that make me happy today and the past few days: Christmas of course. I love giving presents and spending time with the people I love. I'm so fortunate to have each and every one of my family and friends. Secondly, having my best friend Kelsey home. Someone I can truly be myself around :D

Anyways, I can finally write something related to fitness/Crossfit and I'm psyched about it. One of my best Christmas presents is beginning a new journey in my fitness "life," especially after having knee surgery less than two weeks ago. I have been out of Crossfit for about a month and a half and it has been a struggle, both mentally and physically. My body is just not the same...it's 'looser' and semi-flabby. I am starting (yesterday) to change that. My physical shape is something I pride myself in and am willing to start from ( almost) scratch to achieve the results I want. I am going to take progress pictures to take you on this exciting next step with me. Please note that I am slightly ashamed of these pictures and it's taking me a lot of courage to put them out there! Here goes!

Don't worry a Christmas post is coming tomorrow!

who cares?

Things that have made me happy in the past two days: Frank and getting to meet his beautiful daughter, getting to see my best friend Kelsey for the first time in months and Christmastime!

 

Who cares? Last week I had a conversation with my roommate and one of her friends about not caring about what people think. We spoke about what is running through our heads when we get dressed to go out or go to work etc. I can 100% say I dress (and do a lot of other things) only for me. Not once does it cross my mind when I'm picking an outfit or doing my hair or makeup that I hope someone likes how I look or what if this person doesnt like how I look. I try and look good so I can feel good. It is instinct for humans to want approval from other people, to get reassured that we are "pretty" or smart or funny. To feel important. But can you #1 really rely on other people's opinion of you, it is so subjective and #2 your self-worth and security in who you are will be a roller coaster ride if you are always trying to impress someone or prove that you are something.

 

You are the only one who has to see and be with yourself every single day of your life. You have to learn to approve of yourself and the rest will follow. The confidence and security you exude will not only attract people to you, but it will be for the right reasons. Life will reward you in ways you arent even expecting. Take crossfit for example: if you go into a WOD trying to look good for someone or finish a workout first just so someone notices you, you will never improve. You have to walk in there and be one with the barbell. No, I'm kidding...you have to push through those 100 burpees and feel good about you and what you did. You can only achieve as much and be as much as you allow yourself.

 

So look in the mirror and learn to love what you see, no one else is going to do it for you.

Do it for you

Things that made me happy in the past day: Christmas Shopping in a mall. I never go to malls and they are just so warm during the Holidays and then also nice French toast dinner with some awesome people. (I know, not healthy AT ALL).

 

Something my Dad said the other day really made me think: that our generation is a bunch of narcissists. My first reaction was the obvious "What? No! I'm not a narcissist." And then I asked him to explain...we all use Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Group text messages to communicate, share our thoughts, photographs and life events. Some of us more than others but either way, we always want (maybe subconsciously) people to know what's going on with us, whether positive or negative We take "selfies." We let people know what we did today, we complain and we celebrate. The more 'likes' we get on a status or photo, the better we feel about ourselves. Saying it out loud makes me feel slightly pathetic...

 

Bottom line is: we are constantly looking for our peers approval on who we are and what we do. We need that approval (whether we want to admit it or not) in some ways; we leave Facebook for a week and we feel 'out of the loop.' Is that a narcissist? Maybe. Either way, we need to be careful. Are we doing things that are true to who we are? Why do other peoples "approval" matter so much to us? When you are at the gym, do you need other's approval on your WOD time or the weight on your barbell? Probably not. Bring that into life. It's not about the posting of the pictures or the status, its about the reasoning behind doing so. Just like it's not about putting 125lbs on your bar, but its about whether you are doing that to challenge yourself or to be better or show off to someone.

 

What are your intentions?

Poker Face

Oh hi :) Hmmm...things that made me happy recently: my roommates birthday (I love other people's birthdays and hate my own), being able to drive again today after surgery! and lastly, buying christmas gifts. I hate being broke but I LOVE to buy gifts.

 

One of the most valuable things I've learned in the past year or so is how different people and situations play a role in my life. You decide how much someone knows about you; you decide how large a role something or someone plays in your life. You are in control of how many cards in your hand that person or thing deserves.

For a long time, I thought everyone had to be my best friend, that I should open up to anyone who wanted me to. I would have a hobby or be involved in something and I would make it my life. I dedicated all my time to it and all my energy into trying to become closer to other people. Someone very important to me used an analogy that really stuck: you have a hand of cards, say 7. Some people you show 3 to, some 6. Some parts of your life you give 2 to, some 4. Learning to judge the # of cards each thing and person get is learned. First I learned how to do it with people; every person I met does not need to know my feelings and thoughts about everything. People come into my life for a reason, not always to be there forever. With this outlook, I have ended up with some of the best friends I've ever had and some of the most fun I've ever had. It's the same with Crossfit. It's a stretch, but when I got injured I realized I had given Crossfit all 7 cards, put everything into it. And when it was gone, I started to realize other parts of my life I neglected. For one, my mental health. And I'm not saying it's bad to be dedicated and committed to something or someone, but it's learning the balance of your life and who you are. Make the most of your life. Accept people for what they are in your life. Give energy to the things and people that enrich your life.  

I realize I'm not explaining this well, but it was worth the try :)

Imperfection

Hello! Before I begin my inspirational speech (hehe) things that made me happy the past couple of days: one would be playing rock em' sock em' robots with my friend Jen and realizing that this awesome childhood game sucks, another would be how much I now love a dark purple/red lip color on me, and lastly....I make BOMB homemade chocolate chip cookies. Now if only I could workout so I could eat all of them...

 

Back to business. Today I get the results from the MRI on my knee and I'm actually excited. The sooner I know exactly what it is, the sooner I can fix it. You'll hear all about it tomorrow!

 

My choice of topic today: imperfection. My friend Kate will be happy that this post was inspired by Ne-yo's new album. First thing that comes to your mind.....what is wrong with this girl..but...here's the lyrics: And in the end they all learned a valuable lesson
Perfection is just glorified opinion
When in the grand scheming things it's our imperfections
That truly make us perfect
So do yourself a favor
Find the beauty in your cracks

 

Crossfit does not only point out your imperfections, but throws them right at your face in the middle of a WOD, when you are vulnerable and tired and just want to push through to the end. Yes, it's too hard to deal with a weakness at first, but it takes real strength to face that weakness or accept that you are not perfect. You will drop the bar, you will finish 15 seconds slower than you wanted; this will all happen. In life too. You will be late to work, your heart will get broken, you will break someone's heart, you will mess up something at work...you are not, nor ever will be perfect. So find beauty in these imperfections...what do they teach you? have you become a better person, a stronger crossfitter? do you strive to keep achieving regardless of these "roadblocks"? Who decided what perfect was in the first place?

 

It will surprise you. The people who love you will love those imperfections. Theyll love the way your nose is a little crooked and that scar on your chin, learn to love them too.