Slow Realizations

Many people say college is the best 4 years of your life, but I strongly disagree. Yes, it's fun to do whatever you want, not worry about bills, eat and drink every night of the week, study or not study and just live carefree for four years. BUT...this couldn't possibly compare to the amount I've learned about life, others and myself in the past 2 years out of school. Some of it has absolutely sucked, it has by no means been easy, but the amount I've grown, the people I've met and the lessons I've learned are invaluable. 

Coming out of college, it's the social norm to find a job that pays you well (or well enough), date, party and eventually find someone you want to settle down with, have kids etc. For a while, I was obsessed with this concept, paranoid I would never find these things and put so much of my happiness on whether I was getting closer to this endpoint. What's usually left out of this fabulous plan we have for ourselves is getting to know ourselves, finding out what makes us happy, who makes us happy. 

For me, this journey began with me discovering Crossfit. Before that I ran to keep in shape, but CF was a different level of adrenaline and accomplishment that is almost impossible to explain. I learned what it meant to take control of my body, to listen to it and push it to its limits. This slowly gave me the confidence to challenge myself in the workplace and in my personal life. Could I be doing more to be successful in my career? How could I learn more and constantly grow? Did all of my relationships add to my life in a positive way or were there people holding me back? How could I learn to part with these things and people without a chip on my shoulder? Can I really accurately discern what is good for me, who is good for me and how to approach it? 

I don't know the answers to all of these questions and according to my father, I never really will, but for the first time in my life I am 100% focused on learning about myself, exploring different possibilities as far as my interests are concerned, traveling, loving the people in my life. I'm not worried about finding a man and starting a family and knowing exactly where my career will be in 5 years. I may be sitting right here writing this post, but what I'm really doing is searching for me, for who I am meant to be so that one day I can have all those endpoints, but as a happy, well rounded, well traveled and strong person.

Never stop growing :)